What Moving to Portugal Taught Me About Life

Dreams of being a lady who lunches wasn't what I imagined it'd to be.

Post photo courtesy of Natalia Segato on Unsplash.

Anyone who knows me well will confess that my single greatest fantasy in life has always been to be a lady who lunches - I’m talking drinking champagne at 10 am on a Tuesday, dripping (and I mean, DRIPPING) in head-to-toe Chanel.

That’s why when asked recently, "What exactly do you do all day?” 🤔 I chuckled to myself. I often get this question since moving to Portugal, with many wondering whether I’m living out my own dream.

While I don’t drink champagne for breakfast or even own Chanel, I can happily report that I am living my dream.

But not for reasons you may think.

---

Doing Me & Doing Me & Doing Me Well

The truth is, my life is really quite ordinary here - but in the most wonderful way possible. On any given day, I spend my time:

• Attending Portuguese classes (sweet mother of god, it has to be one of the absolute hardest languages to learn!)

• Baking yummy treats, testing new recipes, or dining out

• Planning the next trip with my husband

• Taking our dog for long walks

• Watching old movies and shows

• Reading a good book

After a decade and a half of living the hard working, speed walking, grinding and striving lifestyle, I’ve finally learned to slow down and relish in all that delights me.

You see, I am a woman on a mission: to deepen my practice of honoring (and paying attention to) what I love - wearing, doing, eating, and moving in ways that make me feel more… me.

I cannot overstate what a huge shift this is because for years, I fought tooth and nail for my limitations: “I can’t do that; I’m not good enough,” “I can’t wear that; I’m not pretty enough or thin enough,” "I can't lead that; I’m not smart enough.”

Then one day, this quote stopped me in my tracks:

“How cool is it that the same God that created oceans and mountains and galaxies, looked at you and decided the world needed one of you too.” ~ Unknown

Although not religious, in that moment, I felt the words guiding me, gently, to see myself differently - more compassionately; if I really am that special and that unique then why not fight for my worthiness instead of my limitations?

• “I am enough as I am”

• “I am my own unique beauty”

• “I have a sharp mind as well as a tender heart”

It sounds so elementary, I know, but consciously choosing how I viewed myself has been a total revelation.

Catch & Release

To be honest, midlife has been a continuous journey of unlearning and releasing long-held “truths” (i.e., limiting beliefs) in favor of something more authentic.

Don’t get me wrong; it hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to examine where they came from: childhood conditioning, societal and familial expectations — and notice their relation to my own coping mechanisms (e.g., numbing myself with food and alcohol, namely).

With time on my hands following our move, journaling became my refuge; a place where I could unpack it all - emptying my mind of the disempowering thoughts and feelings swirling around inside.

And once I started I couldn’t stop. The emotions, from what I was coming to terms with, poured out of me and onto the pages - the deep-seated rage; the aching sadness; the long-held pain - all of which I was too afraid of acknowledging for so long.

Emotions = Information

But, what I soon learned is that my emotions were nothing to fear. They were simply shining a spotlight on old wounds that needed healing; it was information. I didn’t have to run away from them or myself any more - I no longer needed to numb.

In getting curious about them, what I needed became clear: my own self-compassion.

Journaling is how I did just that. It’s how I got to know myself; how I learned to forgive myself and others; how I realized the importance of releasing all the beliefs and expectations that were never mine and didn’t align with who I am or wanted to be.

Meeting Me

As I learned to embrace this new version of myself, something unexpected happened: I actually began reconnecting with a part of myself I had long forgotten—Little Me.

I think our childhood joys are the lanterns of our soul; as a little girl, I was always in the kitchen excitedly awaiting something delicious to be served or conjuring up amazing adventures in my imagination. That’s why honoring her every day — and pursuing my passions with wild abandon (baking, cooking, traveling, reading, writing) — has become my own personal form of worship.

The quote above changed me because rather than seeing myself as a woman who needed to be “fixed” (due to something inherently wrong with me), I started to see myself differently - a beautiful Soul here to have a human experience.

I am here to relish and savor and delight and celebrate MY life - all the messy emotions, all the wonderful experiences, all the mundane tasks, all the things that bring me joy. All of it. Unapologetically.

So, while I may not be a lady who lunches, my days are filled with something far more fulfilling: the chance to return to myself over and over again.

And in case you were wondering — tea is my drink of choice at 10 am on Tuesdays. 🫖

But Chanel? Oh, that is still very much the goal. What can I say? I like nice things. 🤷🏽‍♀️

---

💡Noteworthy

If you’re trying to get into the personal journaling habit (or maybe spark deeper self-reflection), here are some of my favorite prompts that might help you along your journey:

1. What were my wins today?

2. What do I love/appreciate about myself?

3. What am I proud of myself for?

4. What was my biggest lesson today?

5. What did I notice today that brought me joy?

6. What’s one thing I haven’t been honest with myself about?

7. What part of me am I afraid to fully express? What’s 1 small action I can take to help me shift my perspective?

8. What’s the story I keep telling myself that’s keeping me feeling stuck? Where did it come from and what can I replace it with?

Remember, my loves, don’t be hard on yourself during this process. For years, I’d start journaling, only to abandon it days later. I didn’t fully commit to the practice until I started using the app, Morning Pages (which I highly recommend). I love its web and mobile interface as well as its sentiment tracker/analysis feature.

Tip: I recently exported/uploaded my entries to ChatGPT to help me analyze my progress and identify where in my life I need further focus. Y’ALLLLLL, the insights BLEW MY MIND! 12/10 would recommend.

Honestly, next to therapy, journaling is my favorite form of self-care and I just love what I’ve been learning along the way. Whether you use Morning Pages or not, I hope you find a format that works best for YOU in your own practice.